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Mar 26, 2019

When journalist and writer, Abby Ellin, learned that the man she had been engaged to had lied to her about everything from being a Navy SEAL to working for the CIA -- and that he had been cheating on her much of the time they’d been together - she had to wonder why her usually strong professional instincts had let her down in her personal life.

Abby has since written about her own experiences of romantic betrayal, and those of others -- both the betrayed and the betrayers - compiling her research into a new book, Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married. In this edition of Financially Ever After, Abby shares much of what she has learned about how and why women can be especially vulnerable to romantic, spousal deception, including:

  • Why societal pressure that women be in coupled relationships can make them more likely to ignore or overlook relationship warning signs. [11:05]
  • How scientific studies show it’s harder for people to detect deception when they’re in love. [13:00]
  • Why, when a woman is in a committed relationship (made more complex by financial and familial ties), it is often to her benefit not to “see” the bad or painful things that a partner is doing. [14:45]
  • Why deceptive behavior seems to be everywhere in our culture, and only getting more pervasive. [26:10]
  • Why certain personality types can be more vulnerable to romantic deception; how you can protect yourself against being duped, and where to get support if you’re experiencing - or recovering from, a toxic relationship. [31:40] 

Stacy Francis | W: P: (212) 374-9008 E:

Abby Ellin | W:


Links to Items Mentioned in the Podcast:

Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married

The White Collar Wives Project: 

Institute for Relational Harm Reduction:

Sexual Assault By Fraud: